Infinite Spider-Man: Five Years Ago

Posted by Mister Mets 02 October 2011


I've officially been thinking about the ideal direction for the Spider-Man comics for at least five years.


Yikes.

I assume that it was on my mind for a little while before I started a thread on the Bendis Boards.

The best post in the thread was Tom Beland's counterargument to my position.

Regarding Spidey/MJ:

People can talk about whether or not Peter and MJ should've been married all they want, but the fact is... they are. And they've been together for far too long to simply divorce and get rid of her. More than any other female character, aside from, say, Sue Storm... MJ has a significant role in the Marvel Universe as Spider-Man's muse. She is the main reason he does what he does.

Get rid of MJ and you lose the heart and soul to Spider-Man. Period. You can bring up all the "What If" scenarios you want, it won't change the fact that when you think of one, you instantly think of the other. They have been created to now fit together.

I think the main problem is, nobody wants to take MJ and create her own personality. In the years she's been around, all she's been used for has been nothing more than a hot chick in a nightie waking up to console Peter in the middle of the night... or a hot chick in a nightie waiting up for Peter to return from a fight. Or someone who has to be saved.

Sean McKeever is the only writer trying to get to the actual heart of MJ.

My take on MJ is a simple one... she digs Peter and Spider-Man. She's lived with this for most of her life and they are both like a drug to her. She rarely gets overly worried about him and, truth be told, she sort of gets off on seeing him in battle. When he returns, she asks him about what he did to defeat the bad guy... she'd even know all his favorite moves.

What are her outside interests?

To me, she'd be a bit of a chocoholic. She never lets anyone have the last piece of chocolate and if someone gets there before she does, it bugs her to no end.

She loves those Macy's Day Parade balloons. She also loves morning cartoons on Saturday.

She'd take up cooking with Jarvis and find out she's very good at it. The kitchen in the Avengers Tower is where the heroes hang out. I think it's like that in everyone's home.

She loves to embarrass men in line at the grocery store by holding up a box of tampons and saying "Mind if I go before you? I need to pay for these." It makes her laugh to no end the way men are freaked out by a tiny box of hygene products. Which makes Peter roll his eyes when he sees her come home laughing.

She can't lie to people. Nobody tells her about surprise parties.

In high school, she beat the crap out of Flash Thompson. They've never discussed it since... but each of them knows it happened.

Words about bodily function make her giggle like a child. "Crap" "Crappola" "Shit" "Pissed".... all of them. And she can't help it.

When she tells someone in the grocery store that you can use salt/pepper/garlic powder on some chicken legs (the cheapest, but best part of the chicken) pan fry skin side down in some olive oil and baked when turned for 40 minutes... and you'll have the greatest first date meal of your lives... she feels like she's Spider-Man.

She loves to carve her initials in wet cement. She's done it all her life and, according to her log book, has 11,015 "MJW's" and 7,342 "MJWP's" across the streets of New York. It's an obsession.

She's afraid to get close to children... because they make her curious about parenthood. And those thoughts make her worry about what type of child you conceive with a man who has radioactive blood. So she stays back, keeping just enough distance to keep safe.

She thinks Bonds did it. He knew it. And she also knows that if steriods could win you a title... and they're willing to do it... do it. Nobody is with her on that point of view.

She sponsors two children via mail. Nobody knows.

Soooooo, maybe some of those work for you, maybe they don't. But I think the more you put into a character, the more endearing that character becomes to the reader. And let's face it, though we don't MIND seeing MJ in lingerie, it's now like.... "okay, she's in a nightie... get to the story." You have to have more than the physical.

The more interesting MJ is, the more interesting Peter and MJ are. So, I'd love to focus on her side of the equation. She'd be the one of the few females in the Marvel Universe who can handle a crisis and not freak out. She's lived with this shit for yeeeeeeears.

You may now bash me.


More Infinite Spider-Man will be coming soon.

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